I just checked the mailbox again and wanted to set the whole thing on fire.
More expired auctions. More stacks of tailoring mats I spent my last decent bit of gold on, now returned to me with that cheerful little “Auction expired” note like the Auction House is laughing in my face. Everything I tried to sell is sitting there unsold, mocking me. The herbs, the cloth, the little bits of ore I managed to scrape together… none of it moved. Not even at the rock-bottom prices I finally lowered them out of desperation.
Meanwhile the materials I need to actually craft anything decent keep getting more expensive by the day. I’m bleeding gold just trying to stay afloat, and I still have to figure out gems and enchants for the new boots and rings that are coming up. I can already see the next repair bill after a bad night in the BGs and it’s making my stomach turn.
I’ve been mailing Abeke almost every day asking where all that fish is she’s supposed to be sending me to sell. “Little sis, any chance you could actually sell the Eversong Trout instead of eating it or turning it into tacos again?” I wrote yesterday. “I can’t keep supporting the both of us while you’re out there ‘farming’ and I’m the only one trying to turn a profit.”
She hasn’t answered. Of course she hasn’t.
And the worst part? I’ve been wasting the last few days out here on the plot, planting herbs and trying to make the place look less like a sad dirt rectangle. I told myself it was “investing in my new home.” Really I was just procrastinating on mining like I should have been doing. I could have been out there swinging a pickaxe instead of playing gardener, but no, I had to make the landscaping look nice first.
Brilliant plan, Sahsha. Really stellar.
Now I’m sitting here on my fancy new dock with an empty mailbox, dwindling gold, and a mountain of things I still need to do. The queue is about to pop any second and I know I should be happy about it, but all I can think is how every BG I run is one more repair bill I can’t afford and one more night I’m not out there actually making gold.
I’m starting to feel the anxiety creep in. The tight-chest kind that whispers I’m falling further behind every single day. There’s never enough time. Never enough gold. Never enough of anything.
I’m being called to battle.
Guess I’ll go die a few times, rack up another repair bill I can’t afford, and pretend everything’s fine.
~Sahsha
(Tired Disc Priest, Professional Babysitter of the Sin’dorei, Reluctant Returnee… and Currently Broke, Overwhelmed, and Slightly Panicked Homeowner)