6 years ago today. 6 years and about an hour ago I walked into that dreaded hospital. I was very hopeful. I had faith. I truly believed she was going to be better. I never felt so right about something. But no.
The doctors pulled me into a special room, a room I hadn’t been in before. There were many other doctors in the room. Pretty much every doctor that had been involved in our nightmare were there.
I knew she wasn’t going to make it when the doctor said, “When someone asks you how many children you have, you will always say 2.” I knew what he meant. And I lost it. I don’t feel like reliving the nightmare today, so I’ll end the story there.
Instead, I’ll share a poem.
A butterfly alights beside us like a sunbeam
And for a brief moment its glory and beauty belong to our world.
But then it flies on again,
and though we wish it could have stayed,
we feel so lucky to have seen it.
- Author Unknown
These notes are on Zelyx’s Skill Capped video, Game Awareness & Positive Mindset, told from a Disc Priest point of view for Arena. I applied these notes in our matches last night by calling out that I had my teammates when someone was at less than 50%. “I got you after I break out of this stun.” I also glanced at our enemies’ frames more often, specifically their trinket timers. It sounds miniscule but training my eyes to glance there is a pretty big milestone for me. Acting as the team’s cheerleader… did that too! “Go go go, you got this!” as I lay there dead, watching the rest of the match. Some we won and some we lost, but staying positive through it all sure does make it more fun.
And here’s another set of Sketch Notes done on Zelyx’s other video on Skill Capped, “Effective Life Grips, Inner Focus & Armor Usage.”
Skill Capped Video by Ashman: “Shadow – How To Do Damage”
I’m lovin these Skill Capped videos. Last night I respecced my Disc Priest to mimic that of Craze and applied what I learned in one of his videos. Because of that, I noticed a big difference with my efficiency in Arenas. Here are my sketch notes from yesterday. Sketching and drawing really helps the info to sink in.
Again, I want to stress that these sketch notes aren’t meant to replace watching valuable Skill Capped videos. My notes are just a small portion of what I’m learning. In addition, I sometimes don’t note tips and strategies that I already use and apply, but may not be obvious to others. So I highly recommend checking out their site!
As you guys know, my main does alot of PvP and has been focusing on Arena the past few months. A few days ago, my arena partner told me about Skill Capped. I went ahead and became a member so that I could get access to their World of Warcraft PvP instructional videos and articles. For the cost of a couple lattes it was worth a shot and I looked at the $5 monthly fee as an investment.
After watching my first video, Dealing with Melee by Disc Priest Craze, I felt what I learned was worth the $5 already. What I love about these videos is that Skill Capped goes through the video step by step, analyzing moves, breaking things down into small pieces so that someone like me, (noob), could understand. What good is a youtube video of someone fighting in Arena when everything is moving so damn fast and they’re not even explaining what they are doing?
Anyway, writing sketch notes is a way for me to really get stuff to sink in and to help me retain the information long after I’ve learned something for the first time. The sketch notes below are of one of Craze’s videos and I decided to share it here. I want to stress that these sketch notes aren’t meant to replace watching valuable Skill Capped videos. My notes are just a small portion of what I learned. So I highly recommend checking out their site!
This was done on paper with my son’s Crayola colored pencils and scanned. I’m obviously not an artist or have a talent for illustration! But I’ve been having a lot of fun on Draw Something so really excited about adding the WoW icons. I hope to one day be good enough to draw fighting stick figures!
Disclaimer: This is 2-3 times longer than my usual posts. I had thought about breaking it up in two, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I had heard of Bipolar and Manic/Depression; I learned about it in school but never put two and two together.
I was pregnant in 2009 with baby #3 when my brother handed me a school paper he was very proud of. A research paper on Bipolar Disorder. As I read the list of symptoms I felt strongly that he was trying to send me a message. Was he trying to tell me that I fit the description of this paper perfectly? And that I was bipolar?more…
I write this from the inn and I’m still coughing up blood. It was brutal on the ever unyielding battlefield tonight.
The battlefield, where there’s no room for weakness. Even more so, there’s no room for foolish pride. Those who attack alone are destined to be stricken down, and that’s how it should be. I didn’t sign up to fight in this war so that I could wait in the infirmary and patch up fallen comrades. Aiding the Horde is all about asserting a tenuous balance and situating myself on the front lines.
Fortunately I wasn’t the only one who recognized this. There was another out there tonight who understood and felt the need to watch my back, just as I watched his. He happened to be a feral druid. He took on the form of a cat and hid in the bushes as we waited at the lumber mill. The lulls in battle… so strange. I observed how he looked strangely half-cat, half-dog. And how he smelled as though he had been rolling through a pile of corpses. Do they all smell like that? I never really noticed before tonight. Every now and again he would ruffle the leaves and shake the bush in which he was mostly hidden, his green eyes peering out at me. more…
Healers are a rare breed in World of Warcraft. Despite what can be a thankless job, some people are just drawn to the role. But why is that? What common traits bind us healers together?
1. A need to fix things. It’s human nature to want to fix what’s broken, but in real life we sometimes miss the mark.
I wanted so badly to be able to fix my baby girl; to take away everything that was wrong with her immune system so she could smile and play and live her life, but there was nothing I could do to fix her. And after she was gone, I realized there were a lot of things I couldn’t fix. more…
Over the next few months, I manically tried to rebuild my life. I met a wonderful man who accepted that I was still a work in progress, and as far as I’d come I still had a long ways to go. I did eventually return to WoW when we moved back to Los Angeles. My life finally seemed to be somewhat stable again. And when I found out I was pregnant, I had to find low-impact activities to keep me occupied. So one night when I was bored and my son was asleep I decided to dust off the laptop. I seized every moment I had to spend with my son and my boyfriend and only played while my son was asleep or at school. WoW wasn’t my lifeline anymore; it was just a game. more…
(This is Part 3 of a Series. Click here for Part 1 / Part 2)
Installing WoW on our work computers was a big mistake. I ran a small office with my brother and he WoWed too. Maybe we thought that if we played at work more, we’d play at home less. I was trying to take a step toward not being glued to the computer every moment I was home, but it was definitely a step in the wrong direction. more…
Outside of the game, my husband and I were sleeping in separate beds. Divorce became the next logical step, instead of something we never thought we’d consider. And I didn’t realize it at the time, but it was painful to be with my son. Every time I looked at him, I just felt empty, reminded of the fact that he used to have a sister. I couldn’t take him to the park because the three of us had gone to the park, together. The sight of other young children was like a knife twisted in my chest. I couldn’t even walk by a Starbucks without remembering her asking, “Mommy, want coffee?”
This is what grief does. It carves a hole inside of you; a treacherous cavern that you know will cave in with just the slightest touch. But I didn’t want to face grief. I thought I could outpace it, and even if I was just one step ahead, it would be okay. more…
I never imagined I would need an escape from my day to day life.
At the age of 30 I was married, successful in my career, and mother to two beautiful children. But that year, my world came crashing down. My daughter – just two years old – was forced to fight a devastating bone marrow disorder called Aplastic Anemia. Her bone marrow was unable to produce new blood cells. My husband and I were left helpless and we agonized as our baby girl fought for her life. more…