I’m a closet blogger.
Aside from D, only my brother and one other friend know I have this blog, and that’s only because they used to play with me heavily. But aside from that, none of my friends or family knows about it. I don’t share any of my posts on my personal Facebook page. And while I do keep an active Twitter account, I don’t expect anyone I see face to face on a regular basis to read it. Even then, I only tweet about my blog because my Twitter followers (I <3 you, btw) play WoW or SWTOR on a regular basis.
Twitter has become my new social haven, and I wish I could reach into my computer and give you all a big hug. In some ways I feel like I have more in common with you guys than I do with my Real Life friends. You’ve supported me from the very humble beginnings of my blog, and you’ve encouraged me as my focus has evolved and transitioned into what it is today. You guys get me, good and bad. When I tweet from my phone about how I want to be playing WoW instead of doing whatever I’m doing, not only do you understand, but you’re not going to tell me I’m crazy!
I guess I probably don’t do myself any favors when it comes to my Real Life friends, though. I’m always sharing some wild new idea that’s planted itself in my brain and grabs hold of me until I see it through to fruition. It seems like every other month I’m telling them about a new business venture or charity. They’re probably sick of hearing it by now. I can just imagine it: “Oh great, here she comes again with some sick person she’s trying to get us to donate to.” or “Here she comes with something new to sell us. Quick, hide your wallet!”
Of course, this all brings up a bigger question for me: Has being a closet gamer trained me to be a closet blogger, too? Why do I feel like I have to minimize the WoW window when I hear D coming? Why is there so much guilt associated with me having some quality time with my games? Why do I dream about PvPing with my priest while watching Tangled for the 10th time?
I don’t understand. I really don’t spend a lot of time in game. Usually I get a couple hours a night after the boys are asleep, if that, and that’s it. As for D, he’s been amazingly supportive. He may not understand what a raid is or why I like slaying internet dragons, but he knows I love this blog, I love my audience, and I love sharing my passions.
Recently, I’ve started trying to bridge the gap a little more. Originally I had told my brother about my blog a few months ago and he made no effort to read it. But while we were in Big Bear a few weekends back, I got my brother to read a few of my posts and I feel like he understands me a little better because of it. Of course we have that family bond, but it’s nice to not feel like I have to hide this from him. After all, we’ve spent hours on the battlefield together. So I thought it appropriate to read him one of Sahsha’s Journal Entries, (Falling To My Death), and he was obviously entertained. In fact, he predicted Sahsha getting blasted off the LM cliff before I even got to that part. Sigh. My brother. (I just got nostalgic remembering how I would read him Where The Red Fern Grows by Wilson Rawls before bed when I was 9 years old and he was 8).
Is it a step in the right direction? I really don’t know. Maybe my blogging life – just like my gaming life – will always be separate from everything else I do. Maybe it has to be. After all, my hobbies are my safe haven.
Does anyone else ever feel the same way? Or am I a little nuts? Actually, don’t answer the nuts part. I already know the answer.
I’d like to thank @HayFayFay for inspiring me to finally finish this post with her recent blog post at Confessions of a Closet Nerd, “/LORE: The Nerd Emerges”